Why do people, who have been sober for years, behave inappropriately with alarming regularity? Recently, being sober sucks I was asked this question in group therapy (the exact words have been edited as they were not fit to print). The person who posed the question felt she had been misled.
Starting Sobriety? Reframe Can Support You!
When things seem to be going down hill, you must remember that bad things happen to people all the time. That includes not becoming a victim to life’s circumstances. Get coffee with a friend to take your mind off relationship problems. Ask for extra hours at work if you’re having a hard time with roommates. Head out of town with some sober friends for a few hours to get a change of scenery.
Mental Health Impacts
Even if they were shitty or abusive, there’s still a part of you that’s hung up and wishes there was a way to make it work. Having a problem with alcohol doesn’t have to mean you’re throwing plates at your cowering wife; it can manifest as just really, really, really loving alcohol, to the point where you’re not quite sure how you’d get on without it. I didn’t want to be one of those weird sober people. I was so afraid of being “single” that I stayed in a shitty “relationship.” And honestly, it could have gotten much worse for me.
Tips To Overcome the “I Hate Being Sober” Mindset
When I stopped drinking, not only did my recovery dictate that I needed lots of time to myself, lots of self-care, and lots of nights in, I discovered that I was, in fact, someone who relishes in alone time. I recharge when I’m by myself, and I deplete when I’m with others—especially big groups. While making the decision to be sober was the best thing I’ve ever done, it’s also one of the hardest.
Feeling Like Being Sober Sucks? 12 Tips for Feeling Better
Sometimes, consider how your behavior has affected others. Or maybe those crotchety old-timers like to complain about life. Or the newcomer has unrealistic expectations and judges others unfairly. Acceptance of one another and each individual’s right to walk her own path is the solution. Similarly, a reader who commented on my post, “What Recovering Alcoholics Can Teach Us About Happiness,” discussed her negative experience in AA.
Plus, your antidepressants can’t make you any less depressed if you’re ingesting large amounts of depressants https://ecosoberhouse.com/ every day. Again, to alcoholics, drinking is obviously the funnest and only fun thing you can do. It means continually checking in with yourself, continually reaching out to new people who may have ideas you haven’t tried before, and continually asking questions that will help you improve your life. You have to motivate yourself, schedule it in, and consistently do the things that will help you improve your life in recovery. I have since learned I am not alone in experiencing this phenomenon.
The Downside of Sobriety
Our daily research-backed readings teach you the neuroscience of alcohol, and our in-app Toolkit provides the resources and activities you need to navigate each challenge. Sobriety means something different to everyone. Some people define it as abstaining from all mind-altering substances (including psychiatric medications), while others introduce different degrees of nuance. The definition of sobriety is complex and better understood as a spectrum. As with most problems, the solution is as difficult or as simple as we make it.
- His area of interest is substance abuse and individual happiness.
- There’s no more not caring if they see your cellulite or whatever you’re hiding under there; and you will, once and for all, discover that sex is never like in the movies.
- Or the newcomer has unrealistic expectations and judges others unfairly.
- When it seems like all you want to do is forget, to go get high or drunk and be gone, if only for a few moments, remember what addiction’s cost you.
- You have to motivate yourself, schedule it in, and consistently do the things that will help you improve your life in recovery.
- It doesn’t take long for thoughts to become words and words to become actions.
- It will hurt (pretty bad at first), but in time you will come to see it as the gift it is—and you won’t waste time getting to know the wrong person.
- This isn’t to say that all of your friends will be threatened, or that all of your friendships will change.
- Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.
- I have always hated the feeling that I’m putting people out or being difficult.
- However, when it has happened, I have to speak up to point out that I didn’t drink and I’m not subsidizing their drinking.
- Sobriety is often portrayed as sunshine and rainbows — a life where everything is suddenly great.
- I’d bet nine out of 10 of us won’t even answer, and we’ll just laugh because it’s such a ridiculous question.
His area of interest is substance abuse and individual happiness. Those who have been invested in AA swear these promises are realized. Many newcomers wonder how long-time members can make these claims when sober members are still acting out. Join Recovery Connection in celebrating your recovery with our sobriety calculator. I share my experience because I do not want others to be blindsided like I was. Sobriety is not all roses and reggae, after all, and those who are in a position to help, will always stress the indisputable fact that being clear-headed is better than being a drunk.
- Yes, it is a crucial and a fundamental part (the beginning aspect) of starting the journey to full scale “recovery,” but the independent process of avoiding drugs and alcohol is nowhere near true freedom.
- Plus, we’re always introducing new features to optimize your in-app experience.
- I recharge when I’m by myself, and I deplete when I’m with others—especially big groups.
- Some of us may perceive alcohol dependence as a poor habit or a lack of self-control, but the science tells a much more complex story.
- Thinking back to before I was sober, I usually had to drink to be around people.
- I didn’t want to be one of those weird sober people.
Things That Inevitably Happen to Your Personal Life When You Get Sober
Whether you’re looking for treatment or for aftercare options, we can point you in the right direction. I don’t have that much sex, and that’s more like me saying, I no longer lower my standards and sleep with just anyone because of beer goggles. There’s no easy pass for me anymore, no more getting drunk and slipping past the part where you get to know each other. There’s no more Twelve-step program not caring if they see your cellulite or whatever you’re hiding under there; and you will, once and for all, discover that sex is never like in the movies. It is an awkward, vulnerable dance between two awkward, vulnerable humans. They also open you up to blacking out, which women are already at a higher risk for.